Beverly Mae and me live on a cul-de-sac with a lot of old people everywhere. Some of the houses are empty; folks go to Florida, mostly. Some travel to second, third, or fourth homes located only God knows where. None have Christmas decorations. It’s too much work when people are old and no one comes to visit.
A black kid who must have spent a lot of time making Christmas candles came to our house yesterday. He displayed his wares and gave what I thought was a carefully memorized pitch for the homeless.
How much? I asked.
Most folks give twenty dollars, he said. I held an IPhone at the ready pre-dialed to 911 in case he tried to rob me.
After looking the boy over, he seemed like a good kid, so I put the phone away and paid the money. The last thing he said as he stepped back to leave was, Thank you, sir, for answering the door. It means a lot at Christmas.
I wondered if I should tell him that the reason people weren’t answering their doors was that they had already left town, most of them. No, I thought. Better not tell him that.
People live in my neighborhood who, I think, must be more paranoid and racist than me. Some no doubt refused to answer, because they darn well aren’t going to deal with a door-to-door salesman at Christmas-time. Especially if they look like someone who might hate them for being unable to feign even a little trust — a little kindness and love — during the Christmas season. It’s scary when strangers approach the house who are male, black, and have never been seen before.
Christmas is supposed to be white as snow, right?
What if I misjudged the young man? Is it wise to tell someone just because they present well that the neighborhood is empty? Their friends might come back to pillage and loot.
Yeah, it’s going to be a crummy Christmas.
Here are ten things I worry about that make this end of year holiday season especially depressing — and it’s not the weather, which right now is grey and overcast.
- The GOP raised taxes on 25% of the public. Guess who made it into that illustrious group? Me. I’m in — according to a questionnaire about finances conducted by the New York Times.
- The president left the White House without wishing the country a Merry Christmas! It’s another campaign promise the oinking chief-commander broke. What good is being free to say Christmas if the president won’t say it? Everyone should be used to his lying-ways by now. Sorry — the fat-man continues to irritate me.
- Will the president start World War Three on Christmas Eve? It’s just one more thing to worry about. I’m not going to bed with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head this time. Will he obliterate North Korea because they tested bombs and missiles, something the USA has done thousands of times? Who the hell knows?
- Will he fire Robert Mueller, a decorated Marine veteran and arguably one of the most honest men in government? Or will he perhaps fire a random person on Christmas, because, why the hell not? It’s Christmas, people! The orange-man demands results. He doesn’t mess around when it comes to making America great. He fired the former FBI director, James Comey, because his attempt to clear Hillary Clinton three days before the election failed. You’re fired! quacked the presidential duck. He did it for Hillary. He really did. He was helping an old friend. That’s all it was. I watched him say so on television. Maybe it was fake news. I can’t tell anymore.
- One of the best gifts? Trump gave Americans the precious gift of the ObamaCare Repeal. It’s what he said. I saw the video on the nightly news. He promised to replace it with something way better. Can’t wait to open that present. Unaffordable healthcare is a wonderful thing. It prevents countless thousands of Americans from going to hospitals where they risk being hurt by doctors who are only in it for the money.
- Family members who have shopped say the crowds in the stores are minimal. Despite the commercial hype on billionaire-owned media, store sales have crashed.
- The stock market noticed. It’s down. Yes, Russian oligarchs are playing games by pulling out money. It’s a fun prank, especially during Christmas. Why not? I confess; I cut back on Christmas spending. The economy can go belly-up — I really don’t care. I don’t put money in the stock market; I don’t vacation in Vegas. The wealthy are on a shoplifting-spree, like under former President Bush. The greed of his fellow-travelers crashed the country in 2008. The current fool’s friends are worse. So will be the results. How long will profiteering take to cut the legs off the middle-class this time around? Not long, methinks.
- Churches campaigned for the biggest boob ever to run for the highest office ever in the history of the world ever and of all human-kind, ever. He’s huge, the orange fat-man. Churches organized bus-runs to take congregants to hear Franklin Graham “on tour” who pretended to anyone who listened that he was politically neutral while he ranted against witches (like the unnamed evil Methodist, Hillary) and abortion.
Omarosé Onée Manigault-Newman predicted that people would bow before our new leader before history as we know it ends. Omarosa is one of the many misfit toys the orange man fired during his climb to ultimate power.
How can anyone go back to those crazy churches should their bozo-president actually screw-up everything at Christmas? The allure of Christianity rides on the back of a thrice-married billionaire who went bankrupt in the casino business, of all things. Somehow he never learned that casinos don’t make money, they launder it. It’s a big difference. When things eventually go to hell in a handbasket (as they certainly will), which churches are going to get the most credit? If the orange-clown kills millions of people to make a point, who gets the pat on the back? Jesus?
- I have sons who have made more money than I ever imagined was possible during those times long ago when I held them as babes in my loving arms. To a man, they think things are just fine. No worries. Yes, health insurance is expensive, but think about one thing for just one minute. (People must know that now is not the time for stupid.) Rich people don’t buy health insurance! Right? They don’t need it. Anyone who hoards fourteen thousand piles of a million dollars per pile (like the president) doesn’t worry about a $200,000 hospital bill. Billionaires spend more on Rolex watches.
- During the past week, the media informed the public on three different occasions that at this moment in time when the Russians are dismantling the United States, UFOs scramble over the skies of the world on every continent. Is there anyone out there who hasn’t heard the ominous rumblings of UFOs late at night while they are trying to sleep?
Since the last news report days ago, not a peep has been heard from the media. Not a line of warning by the replicants who sit in the seats of media-power. They are so life-like, aren’t they? So Perfect. So Desirable. They seem to never mispronounce words or make grammatical errors. Sure, they screw-up. They do. Listen. Sometimes they say boob-el instead of bubble. That’s how you tell.
None of this is happening, right? Surely everyone understands by now. It can’t be happening. Not now. Not ever. Cover the eyes, ears, and mouth. Stop screaming.
Why won’t you believe? I’m a pontificator. I’m trying so hard to warn you.
NOTHING IS REAL.